For the love of Crocs!!

Okay, for people who hate crocs and think they're ugly, I say...walk a mile in my shoes!!

Crocs are the best thing since sliced bread. They make our feet happy, which, in turn, makes us happier in general. You probably hate crocs because you wear uncomfortable shoes that look good but hurt your feet and make you sad and uncomfortable and homicidal. People who need a pair of crocs...hmmm, lets see: Emos, Kim Jong II, Alec Baldwin, Ebenezer Scrooge - just to name a few.

Its time for the liberation of feet! Take off those beautifully designed shoes that turn you into a hater and put on the ugly shoes that will make you a lover. I mean, just the fact that croc wearers wear crocs makes us nicer people. I have never met a mean croc wearer. Maybe wearing ugly shoes just makes us more humble - I don't know.

What I do know - if everyone wore crocs, the world would probably be a nicer place! Maybe not esthetically ('cause let's admit, crocs are clogs meet playdough') but comfortable feet make a more peaceful and happy wearer, and thus, a more peaceful and happy world!

Crocs are the answer. Wear crocs.

Poem - WATER

Water so continual, wet and cold, warm and soft,

Relentlessly moving over the earth.

Water runs on top of a rock, eventually through the rock,

Wearing it down and down and down...

Is it foolish to believe you can escape the death of your dreams?

Are we all just grabbing at straws?

I fear one day I'll meet the child I once was, that she will look in my eyes,

and grieve over the absence of vision, the calloused hopes.

What will I say to her? Will there be any attainment to reassure her of? Or will my only words be, "If I had known, I would have..." done things differently?

Is it possible? Can revelation come to me now before this river becomes a canyon,

before the years wear away at me like water on stone?

Water, so continual, so unceasing, like the passing of the hours, the minutes, the seconds on a clock, challenging my static disposition.

How do I pick up these stones, so heavy and black, carrying the weight of my unfinished life? How do I become the water?

`

Oh little girl, innocent child...I don't know what to tell you.

`

Halloween...scary?

So, any of you who know me well are probably aware of the fact that I'm very particular about what I celebrate and why I celebrate it! I'm not one for jumping on cultural bandwagons when it comes to holidays of any kind. I don't often get a chance to explain my thought process around this, and a lot of my friends have been asking me about it lately, so I thought I'd use my blog as a jumping off point, and start with Halloween.

I just wrote an e-mail about this so I'm going to just copy and paste it here to save myself re-writing the same thing.

Before I paste this in and just for a bit of background, I wrote this section of the email as a followup explanation to why I had requested no costumes that celebrate, endorse or exploit death and evil at our Halloween supper club...the rest is self explanatory.

So, just briefly, let me first say that I believe death is a natural part of life and not something to be afraid of. I also believe that the realization of the finite nature of our physical lives is necessary and humbling, even healthy, and that the recognition of evil and the existence of true darkness keeps us fighting and moves us out of apathy. Understanding both actually helps us value our lives more in many ways.

Now, what I don't like is the way our cultural Halloween presents death with fear mongering and evil with a mask, and seems to give the impression that "evil comes out to play" on a particular night and that it is easily recognizable. Truthfully, "evil" or whatever word you want to use for it (for you Universalists out there) is out to play already everywhere in the world, and it sure doesn't look the way people think it does on Halloween. Sure, ghosts, demons, witches, zombies and vampires look really scary and their main business is death, but that's just sensational and misleading. I don't know about you, but I've never personally had a run-in with a vampire that was unpleasant, and I haven't met any zombies in my lifetime, mean ones anyway. Maybe I just need to get out more.

I guess I have come to believe that true evil is not found in a scary mask or even in the thing it represents. No. True evil is plainly seen in the face of a starving child who no one is feeding, in the lives of people being oppressed and used with no one intervening for them, in relationships that are dying because of a lack of understanding and forgiveness, in the bruised and infected track marks of the men and women in our city living to inject themselves with chemicals and dying for the same reason...you get my point.

I want to continue to call evil what evil really is - the absence of the presence of God, the absence of love, the absence of life. So on Halloween, JUST LIKE ANY OTHER NIGHT, I think that we should CELEBRATE LIFE, celebrate each other, celebrate friendship, eat yummy food, and enjoy every good thing that we have!!! That's one of the best way to combat "evil" in my mind, just don't let it get the best of you!

That sums up my thoughts on Halloween.

Ovr'n'out......

Book recommendation - Eat Pray Love

Okay, I rarely do this, but I can't afford not to recommend this book!

Eat Pray Love

one woman's search for everything through Italy, India and Indonesia

by Elizabeth Gilbert

To all of my fantastic, soul-searching, life-loving, sensory-aware, passion-driven, beauty-struck female friends (which is all of you!) - YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK!!

I have just started to RE-READ it because it is so beautiful.

This is a true story of a woman who travels through Italy, India and Indonesia in seach of some answers to her soul's deepest questions...and she actually gets some good ones!

Through this book, we enter this journey with her, and she makes it so much fun with her inviting writing style and sharp wit/humour. Its one of those stories that can actually make you laugh and cry throughout, maybe even on a page by page basis!!

So, if you are looking for a good read this weekend or over the Thanksgiving Holidays, this is the one, I guarantee it!

Give it a shot and tell me how it goes.

Amb

fragmented

i feel so frag men ted sometimes

as if my life is an ornamental glass lamp

that has been shattered to pieces

and i have to find them all somehow

in every place they have landed

all around the world

as randomly

it would seem

as dandelion seeds...

and i will keep them hidden within myself safely

then piece by hopeful piece

start to glue them back together

hoping that when i'm finished

the light will still turn on

and I will finally be

`

complete

`

`

Enraged!

Feeling enraged is very very strange...it takes me from rational to muppet-esque in no time flat.

I pride myself on being quite judicious in most situations, but there are cetainly times when I am so angry and fed up that biting down hard on my lips is all I can do to prevent myself from scribbling all over my walls, throwing china across the room and knocking over tables and chairs....its a very very strange sensation, like I said!

Anyway...just sharing.

Consume less, ENJOY MORE!

Lately I've been thinking about consumerism, and I have come to ask myself the difficult question - do I consume too much? I mean, we all have to "consume" to live, there's no way around it and there never will be, but how much is too much?

I decided to make a mental list of all the things I have and my reasons for having them (i.e. necessity vs keeping up with trends vs personal expression), and I quickly discovered that my collection of "stuff" and "things" and "gadgets" is over-excessive and under-used - a very bad combination, if I do say so myself! To steal a page from Ariel in The Little Mermaid (my favorite Disney movie of all time, might I add!!!)...

(Insert music, ocean, cave of treasures, and a red-haird mermaid singing to herself)

Look at this stuff. Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collection's complete? Wouldn't you think I'm the girl...the girl who has ev'rything? Look at this trove, treasures untold. How many wonders can one cavern hold? Lookin' around here you'd think, (sure) she's got everything. I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty. I've got whozits and whatzits galore. You want thingamabobs? I got twenty. But (we knew this was coming) who cares? No big deal...

I WANT MORE!!!!!!!

Then the music gets all dramatic and she swims up in a circle and...okay...I'll stop there, but you get my point!

So, after my little self discovery re overconsumption, I started to feel really personally convicted about it. And it wasn't just the fact I could see Japan from the top of my stuff mountain that was bothering me - no. It was the fact that even with everything I already had, I still felt the sense of wanting and needing more...I was still unsatisfied...and there was something really not right about that.

When did I stop being content with having what I need and a few perks here and there? And why is it that the feeling of "I just gotta have that!" seems to carry more weight than the still small voice inside saying "you have everything you need"?

Well, after giving it some thought and prayer I have come to two conclusions, which, of course, I am going to share with you....drum roll please....

So -the first conclusion - ITS A MATTER OF FAITH! Yes, yes it is!! I mean, its about having REAL faith that God understands the practicalities involved in being a human being, and I can live with complete confidence that all of my needs will be met by Him. Its sad that I forget that sometimes, very sad. I take great comfort in knowing that even when I am faithless in that area God continually comes through for me and clears the fog of my misplaced desires.

The second conclusion I came to, and perhaps the most freeing, is that I need to be CONSUMING LESS and ENJOYING MORE! Wow! Think about that one for a minute! Consume less, enjoy more? Consume less, enjoy more? (That's me immitating you thinking about it for a minute..hee hee).

Its a very simple concept, but it makes all the difference in the world if you really live by it. And the greatest thing about this concept is that it plays itself out differently for each person. You know what I'm talking about here...for you it might be that you used to go hiking on the weekends and now you find yourself at the mall. For someone else it might be that beautiful old guitar they used to enjoy playing that's now collecting dust under their beds while they spend hours downloading music for their iPod. For me, its those great recipe books I bought at grage sales and thrift stores sitting alone in my kitchen while Chris and I eat entirely boring "food" in front of the TV! Yuck!

I could persist with more examples, but the point is, we all have material and/or experiential things we could be enjoying more! I guarantee it!

This has been an area of oversight in my life which I am now doing something about, and the most wonderful thing of all is that in realizing what I already have, I automatically want for less - hence, the end of my overconsumption!

So, the most valuable thing we can all do today (or any day!) is ask ourselves the question, "What do I have in my life RIGHT NOW that I can enjoy more today?".

You get to take it from there!

This is Amber...sharing her thoughts with you once again!

Untill next time....

CONSUME LESS AND ENJOY MORE!!

Amber

The gift

This morning at work, after I filled up my favorite neon-green mug covered in pink flowers with fresh filtered water, sat down in my computer chair, and opened up the big picture window behind me to let in the cold, rain-spiced morning air, I was surprised to see an old friend of mine show up at the door, enter the room, and pull up a chair beside me. Her name is Gratefulness, my mom introduced me to her when I was a kid, and we have kept in contact for years now! I'm a little bad with remembering to invite her over, but like a true friend, she just shows up from time to time...I love it.

She and I always have such wonderful conversations. This morning we are catching up on the past few years, laughing about a few things that went wrong, fondly remembering people that have come and gone, babies that have been born, you know, all that good stuff. I love talking shop with her - she has this way of reminding me that my life is good, that there are people who love me, and that God has blessed me in so many ways, both big and small.

She encouraged me this morning to make the most of what I have...to play my piano...use my art room more often....take beautiful pictures and document the moments that mean something to me...read the books piled up on my bedstand that I've neglected for weeks...walk through the cherry blossoms on Gravely street to a produce stand on the Drive and pick out a perfect apple, or mango, or turnip....to be satisfied staying home tonight preparing a fresh meal for Chris and me to eat together...to thoroughly enjoy today, just because its here. She is wise, and her advice is sound.

Somehow, after every conversation we have, I can breathe easier. I stop worrying about what I lack, I stop trying to pass everybody ahead of me in the race, and I even stop running for heaven's sake. She reminds me of God's standing invitation to the lovely picnic under the willow tree by the still waters, just beyond the green pastures, which I constantly neglect to take him up on. Silly me.

Its good to have a friend like Gratefullness, and I'm glad she came by today...I've missed her lately. She brought me a present too, like she usually does - just handed it to me before she said goodbye. I knew what it was before I even opened it, because she leaves the same gift every time...its one of my favorite things in the whole wide world...its called Peace.

Umbrella Etiquette - Rule No. 1 "Size Matters"

Today we enter into a new realm of etiquette, a realm that stretches beyond the standard "do not use your dessert fork to pick off scabs" and "do not tell your future mother-in-law dirty jokes on first meeting" to name a couple, straight into....(drum roll please)....

`
Umbrella Etiquette.

Please take some time to carefully absorb said Umbrella Etiquette, as I firmly believe it could one day save your life or the life of someone you have never met with a mullet walking on the sidewalk near you during a rain storm.
`

So - If you would allow me, I would now like to present you with exhibit A, which will start us off on our Umbrella Etiquette journey:

` `
Exibit A: "Big Momma"


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Okay, so immediately upon viewing this picture, one will turn their attention to the insanely-white coat that lady is mistakenly wearing after labour day - big no no. Please people, you know the rule, all you have to do is follow it.
`

Secondly, you will notice the extremely red car in the foreground of the picture, artistically parked with its back end forward whereas all the other cars are front-end forward. This is a mystery...I like mystery.
`

Thirdly, and most importantly, one can't help but notice THE HUGE FRIKIN UMBRELLA THAT UNDOUBTEDLY BELONGED TO SNUFFLEUPAGUS BEFORE HIS PASSING. What? Did you pick this up from a Sesame Street prop auction??!!

```
I cannot believe the size of this umbrella, it's practically a weapon!! I mean, COME ON, have the meeting in the office guys, you know, on dry land, inside the building with coffee machines and swivel chairs?? All I can say is "you've been swindled!" - yes the umbrella salesman told you it would be a good way to incorporate fresh air and exercise into your daily office life, but have you no consideration for the lack of space provided on the average North American city sidewalk?? GOOD GRIEF!!! I'm having a mental breakdown here!!
`

So first of all, let me remind you that I live in a Canadian West Coast city that has two seasons - Rain and Almost Could Pass For Summer. That being the case, this is what I have to deal with just about every day working Downtown - people walking around without a care in the world, sporting their Humvee umbrellas with diabolical umbrella spears pointing right at my head as they walk by, hitting me in the face, and poking out my eyes as they continue on, completely unaffected, listening to "Singing in the Rain" (the Clockwork Orange version) on their precious little iPods, as I slowly bleed to death. `
Okay, so a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my point.
`
Anyway, now that I've gotten all that off my chest I will thus present you with RULE NO. 1:
`
NEVER SPORT AN UMBRELLA UNDER WHICH MARY POPPINS AND ALL THE RESIDENTS OF CHERRY TREE LANE COULD SEEK SHELTER SIMULTANEOUSLY!!!
`
Ponder that, soak it in, store it in your memory, then go out into the umbrella-crazy world and do your part to keep our streets safe!
`

This is a war on umbrellas people!!

``
Okay, all done.
` `
Stay tuned for more Umbrella Etiquette and remember today's lesson - SIZE MATTERS - was brought to you by the letter Q!

Stop funking around!

Hello all.

(picture of me emerging from my dark ocean of solitude onto a piece of driftwood which I think may represent my mother or possibly a piece of driftwood)

Its been a while. I've missed you, and I've missed my little bloggy blog. I have been in, how do you call in dis countree - "a funk" - which is a word artists of every kind use to describe the times in our lives/careers when dangit, we just don't have anything funny or inspirational to say, or, dare I say, we have stopped being depressed and contemplative losing touch with the very source of our creativity; that being, of course, our inner melodramatic angst and deep deep deeeeepp deeeeeeeeeep emotional suffering. Haa haa...all of you out there who are artists, forgive my trite explanation of our most afeared disposition.

Some of my friends have felt extreme disappointment over my neglect of LbOAWP, as they have come to depend on it as a portal straight into the very depths of my mind, a place where I am read like a book, a very easy book, like maybe Reader's Digest or Fun With Dick and Jane, or somewhere in the middle of the two.

Sadly, outside of my blogging, I am but a silent shroud of a woman, almost like a ghost, a friendly ghost with freckles, constantly wearing my beloved black hoodie with the letter "A" stuck on the front, looking as though it has been "bejeweled" directly over the left side of my chest by my overly-supportive grandmother who watched one too many infomercials about the crazy machine and gave into the sparkly lady with the big hair and the froufy cat named Sapphire with "bejeweled" tail fur...after which she was like "what the hec am I going to do with this" and then got to the business of embroidering my shirts against my will. That's actually not true, but its fun to think about, eh?

You see, when it comes to the hoodie, the black says, "I am deep" the faux jewel-embroidered 'A' says "I bought this on sale from Mariposa two years ago with my sister-in-law who's name starts with an E even though we couldn't find a matching jewel-embroidered 'E' hoodie for her after which she did the responsible thing and bought a pair of socks". I think...maybe.

I have a colleague at work whose name starts with an L, and she has one too. We constantly have to call each other in the morning to make sure we aren't wearing the same hoodie (aside from the whole L vs A thing). I thought we should probably make up a schedule, for fairness' sake, and thus it has been decided that I get to wear my hoodie whenever I want, and my colleague gets to deal with it. What can I say, schedules solve problems.

Okay, back to business. I have returned home to blogging land, and I know that you and the millions of others who read my blog will be breathing a sigh of relief, taking off your sackcloth and ashes, and opening your blinds and windows to once again take a glimpse of the sun. I do this for you because I love you and because, as a Canadian wannabe writer, I must continue to be unabashedly self promoting. :)

So....

Stay tuned for some more of the good stuff!

Amber

poem - passion is absent

passion is absent from me

`

and he has taken all of my emotions with him

`

his currency, my creativity, stolen from me voilently

`

squandering it all away in exchange for an empty room

`

i sigh and i wonder if he will ever return to me

`

and even if he does...will i recognize his face?

`

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Poem - Something New is Coming

The wind of change blows soundlessly.

I can feel it swooping over the back of my neck, exposed.

A gentle chill, a welcome rush of cold to soothe me.

So quietly the whisper, almost inaudible, to which I lend my ear

“something new is coming”
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And then it is gone.

`

`

`

A. O'Neill January 2007